Are those demons moonlighting?

In the event of life and death,

I find many people nonchalant to my pain and loss.

I was still lucky that a few angels bothered about my cries for help.   

While I am weeping the sorrows of watching my loved ones fighting for their life, there can be laughers & casual chit chats from people who actually save that life for me.

Frustrated yet staying calm and controlling my emotions in many dimensional levels, made my throw up repeatedly with curses and protective chants inside my mind.

There was so much to process that I can’t function as a human safely.

I am not even sure if these people who comfort me actually put on a mask watching me with cold delight.

Seizing them up cautiously made me crazy confusingly and depressed.

What have they made me become?

Do you still beat kind?