Explore my Stories

She gave me expired perfume like she give affection— carelessly wrapped, thoughtless beneath the shine. A person who offers faded things often carries a faded sincerity too. She is not the first person whom likes gifting me expiring products. What unsettles me is not the value of the items, but the thought behind them. Gifts are meant to carry care, attention, and intention. Receiving things that are already fading makes me quietly question how I am seen by the people giving

He swallowed the rest of the sentence as tears welled in his eyes. I watched him, fighting back my own tears. Even breathing felt dangerous, as though the slightest sound might wound his pride. "It had been five years since her last relapse. This time round, she needed more time towards recovery. I was taking it slow, but it was becoming more challenging as age caught up with her, and me." I found myself pinching my thighs beneath the table, holding on to the sting so I would

I slipped two mouthfuls of my favorite highball, cursing— didn’t think opening a fresh account, could feel so close to guilt, like I am committing a crime. Or I look like I would and I could. Fluorescent lights, polite questions with sharp edges: your nett worth? your salary? why here, not there? as if my choices needed defending in a room that smelled faintly of paper and proof. I nodded where I had to, swallowed the burn with the whiskey, told them I just didn’t want my lif

You know that feeling— when you fight so hard for a chance, only to watch it vanish in the very next breath? He had already said yes. And still, she passed me by. I was upset—but not surprised. I’ve learned how quickly things slip from hands that held them tightly, how often something mine becomes something lost. Still—he saw me. And he did not give up on me. He got me another chance! For the first time in my life, someone gave me a chance. And I didn’t fail him. My words rea

It feels exhausting. When I felt bullied all my life, even small negative moments can hit much harder because they build on what’s already there. My mind goes into a kind of alert mode, expecting the next jab. So when something minor happens, it doesn’t stay minor— it connects to everything before it and feels like another blow. Just earlier, I made a call to this insurance company after receiving a letter stating my father unsuccessful charge on his policy. They provided the

Attending seminars at 40 feels different— I am not there to impress anyone, I am there to figure things out. Switching careers at this stage isn’t reckless— it’s intentional. I am not starting over; I am redirecting. Seminars become testing grounds, helping me to explore new paths without blind commitment. There’s risk, but there’s also clarity. And at 40, clarity matters more than speed. Though I really hated the whole process of feeling vulnerable and stupid with my past co

She was flustered, breathless, asking if she could leave her huge bag of fishballs at our counter while she rushed to the toilet. Twenty minutes passed. The bags began to drip. A faint smell crept into the air. I found a thermal bag. I froze ice cubes. An hour passed. My sister went to the toilet to look for her—nothing. I froze more ice cubes. I was about to head out and buy some tea break and I assumed I saw her. I went up to her —two huge shopping bags in her hands—and ask

She had her fingers pointed at my sister and me, gesturing us out of the room loudly. "You and you, out." We are here to do an LPA for my mom, and it's your receptionist who directed us to the meeting room. I understand that not everyone who walks through your doors has good intentions. But for us— caregivers trying to do something important for our mom— that moment felt unnecessarily harsh. The looks we received as we walked out only made it worse. Confusion, judgment… it wa

Sometimes, okay, most times, people turned us into villains or creeps. Human nature does not change overnight, but I did after many years of setbacks. I used to treat most humans without reservation with some sort of consciousness. When the tables started to turn swiftly, my chair stayed firm to the ground. Even when I wanted to exit with some sort of integrity, I could still be slapped with a huge dose of cynicism. TOXIC DYNAMICS. Sigh, it'll be an arduous journey away from

We all have choices in life. One decision can alter another’s path. Some fates are sealed; others are forever intertwined. He chose to fulfill a silly death wish but ignored the living pleads for mercy. Since the deities have assured me generously, I shall abide patiently for them to cut this tie swiftly. The days ahead may be grainy with rain, heavy with torment and pain— yet if I endure, sunlight and rainbows will find me. Go your own way. Question everything. Accept nothin

I’ve met demonic humans, but she stands apart. Like Daji, she doesn’t force control—she engineers it, until people believe her bidding is their own choice. Realizing her plan might have begun seven years ago left me paralyzed with fear. But hearing that she used her own father to manipulate mine shattered whatever innocence I had left. Thankfully, my father had his own deities protecting his sanctity. But now he is in hades, who can genuinely helped us? A bad man desires arbi

Another day, I met people who kept my eyes wet with an undeniable stab. I begin a series of silly questions if my choices of staying out of touch would be filled with regrets at a later stage of my life. He was so positive and bright while we shared a conversation about his recent life happenings. I just didn't expect he would be on long-term medication with a chronic illness related to his kidneys. He made me understand that he chose to spread kindness to people instead of

I met a positive man who is a caregiver to both of his autistic sons. We were having a casual conversation about some life struggles, and I didn't expect him to send my broken heart into another hollow space. If he can survive all that and come out so angelically strong, what will be done to me is probably just a pinch of salt. I know that if I had more dimes, I could offer him more help. I have to set my life's purposes aside for realistic goals to take precedence. She assu

Last year, I found my lost faith in Japan when I visited this shrine, and they gave me twice the same lot in different boxes different locations in the same temple. I trust that there can be some sort of forces or spiritual beings around us, even though I can't see them with my eyes. Yesterday, the same deity from the Kwan Yin temple gave me that same lot just two weeks apart with my same baffling questions. "How many lots are there?" "Let's say 100?" "100 divination lots and

Most of the time, it's the voices inside our heads that cause our hearts to ache. The festive period made everything so slow. It's the usual cycle of waiting endlessly for people to make the call to my wants and needs. The emptiness inside my hollow heart started to bleed as the abrasion hurt. I just had to switch off all the plugs inside my head. Even if things don't unfold the way you expected, don't be disheartened or give up. One who continues to advance will win in the e

Another year has gone by, and more misery seems to root itself inside me. Thus, it’s time to re-vein those stems that flow towards my heart. Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person. ― gerard way

I can't sit still. I find myself returning to that same path after having taken another way. Works are still in the process. I'm not sure if I can still cope when lessons begin again. My sister believes my buttocks are itchy. Instead of scratching, I decided to dress my buttocks out of fun. I guess I was just insecure about my future. Well, fingers crossed, let's breeze ahead without planning. "Your journey will be much lighter and easier if you don’t carry your past with you

All of me wish to take things in my own hands. But a voice inside me reminded me clearly, "Not but without proper timing, benefactors and planning." I don't have what it takes now because I am probably not in power or place to argue my stand. Besides, does my 'voice' and experience truly matters? So jaded, broken and helpless. "It's all in your mind." Read, "The mountain is you." Resilience in the face of adversity.

People who followed the rules of the assignment were deemed as bottom pit. People who boldly ignored all the rules were credited, had their effort appreciated, and applauded for taking the risk—a double standard. I cannot stand what's still happening in this real world. With that said, I think the last bit of my angelic light just fused. Earlier tonight, I saw how happy my grandmother was, getting all of us together in harmony and joyfulness. I smiled despite how much I hated

I am holding on tightly. I will give my best, but meeting deadlines probably doesn't allow me to paddle freely inside open waters. I am still very lucky that a few angels will attend to my call/cries. Thank you! "Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street."

I was ready to sign the TA contract. The agent removed the carpet to change the flooring, but she found termites. That's a bad sign; it seems like a warning about the route I want to explore. I decided to go forward despite the omen because I was desperate to find myself a 'home'. The signing contract and handover dates shifted multiple times, creating confusion and frustration. The second sign played with my mind, and I was losing my patience already. Electricity Setup Halt

Navigating life can feel like walking a tightrope between the shadows of loneliness and the flickering lights of hope. I faced complex family dynamics that shape my emotions and experiences. In my household, boys were often valued more than girls, affecting my understanding of self-worth. This unspoken hierarchy made me question my place, leading to feelings of loneliness that lingered like a shadow in my life. The experience of being overlooked can be isolating. This left me

Rebuilding from a setback is no small feat. It's not only exhausting but also presents a chance for personal reflection and growth. I have plenty of books to read so that I don't fall so far behind the crowd. Anyway, I discovered that hope involves more than simply wishing for a better future; it requires taking actionable steps towards it. This shift in perspective allowed me to focus less on lost opportunities and more on what I could build moving forward. But waking up eve

I watched three impactful films that opened my eyes to the complexities of life. Each film, while telling its own story, connected with me on different levels, inspiring thoughts about forgiveness, ambition, and righteousness. The first film, "You and Everything Else," featuring Kim Go Eun, dives into friendship and betrayal. Can you truly find it in your heart to forgive someone you hate? The first time I heard of 'Assisted Suicide". I would have chosen that same way to end

I had the opportunity to speak with a monk who has devoted over 20 years to a life of simplicity and mindfulness. The monk, who has spent his life growing up in a serene temple in Penang, shared how his upbringing shaped his perspective. Growing up surrounded by spiritual teachings, he nurtured a life built on discipline and devotion. This environment influenced his commitment to a path of inner peace. When I asked him how he maintained his focus over the years, he offered,

Our brains process conscious thought at a mere 10 bits per second. Negativity often occupies our minds, clouding our perspective on life. Suicidal thoughts can emerge from a relentless cycle of negative thinking, which many equate with personal weakness. In reality, facing and overcoming these thoughts takes significant courage and determination. Desperate call for change and probably because I am the only one drowning. When will all these obligation end with peace or will t

Life can often feel like a relentless cycle of pain, especially when the wounds from betrayal linger. Many people share this struggle, feeling trapped in a cycle that seems unending. If you have ever found it challenging to heal from betrayal, you're not alone. Understanding the Weight of Betrayal Betrayal can leave deep scars. It disrupts our sense of self and significantly undermines our ability to trust others. I experience betrayal with long-term emotional distress. Feeli

Not anyone who can recite the Buddhism scripture deemed the same kind of respect like those who ordain nunnery or monkhood. Likewise, vice versa: Not every established master would give off the same vibes as how respectable a 'buddha' should be like. Some day that mask would be tore away by someone bold and courageous to take all of them down. I prayed for justice, but I won't ask for it willfully now. An unjust peace is better than a just war. -Marcus Tullius Cicero

No matter how much resentment I seemed to have towards someone, it was gone when I saw him fighting hard for his life. Guilt actually took over because I felt I could have done more to save him better. Grateful that family support can still be felt unexpectedly. Lost connection was retrieved and seeing them undressing their own wounds in front of him seemed so remote but familiar. It took real courage and strength to 'forgive' one person whom does affected and altered our lif

It's a lovely feeling to have genuine humans taking care of our wounded heart especially when we least expected. It does feel sad to note that it's only during solemnly event that one's able to see everyone's clearly. Family members who made every good effort to come & comfort you just when you are grieving meant so much. A glimpsed of new light, let's hope he wakes up tomorrow with neat love and prayers. "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul." — Emily Dic

In the event of life and death, I find many people nonchalant to my pain and loss. I was still lucky that a few angels bothered about my cries for help. While I am weeping the sorrows of watching my loved ones fighting for their life, there can be laughers & casual chit chats from people who actually save that life for me. Frustrated yet staying calm and controlling my emotions in many dimensional levels, made me throw up repeatedly with curses and protective chants insi

"Life is a book and your forties are the chapters when it all starts making sense." Whines: The darkness inside me.....will never be appeased. I tried to color the inky black with all the other pigments I could overwrite. They just made nasty holes after holes with all the new blank papers I bought with hope. Just like the stubborn taint punctured an ugly hole inside my heart. "If you trust the wrong person with good faith, by the time you realized your faults, it's too late